Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less is my new career success coach book.  I’m proud to say that it has just gone into its second printing.  I also want to thank all of the kind folks who have posted a review of Success Tweets on Amazon.com.  You’re the best.  I really appreciate you. 

You can pick up a copy of Success Tweets at your local bookstore or on line at amazon.com.  Better yet, you can download the eBook version for free at www.SuccessTweets.com.

Today’s career advice comes from Success Tweet 80, the last in a series on creating positive personal impact…

Learn and use the basic rules of etiquette.  Social Faux pas might not ruin your career, but they certainly won’t help it.

All that stuff your Mom told you about being polite is true — and great career advice.  You can never go wrong by being polite and acting like a lady or gentleman.  I try to act as a gentleman at all times.  Polite people are mannerly. 

Polite people know and follow the basic rules of etiquette.  Take some time to learn the rules.  While being polite trumps the rules, knowing what to do in any social situation always helps you create positive personal impact.

My friend Sharon Hill, author of The Wild Woman’s Guide to Etiquette, makes a great point about the difference between manners and etiquette.  Sharon says that manners are about kindness and caring about other people.  Etiquette is protocol, rules of behavior that you need to learn and use. 

Manners come from your heart, etiquette comes from your head.  Ladies and gentlemen are both well mannered and follow the rules of etiquette.

If you know and follow the basic rules of etiquette, you won’t look foolish in social situations.  You will admired for demonstrating class and confidence.  Proper etiquette can help you get ahead in business because you will create  positive personal impact.  Sometimes, you won’t even know that people are watching, but believe me someone usually is.

On the other hand, manners distinguish you as a caring person, someone who values every human being.  I wrote about this in yesterday’s post.  Well mannered people treat every person they meet with a kindness that reinforces the self worth of the other person.  You can know and follow all the rules, but still not be well mannered.  While I think it’s important to know and follow the rules, if I had to choose between manners and etiquette, manners would win every time.

Handwritten thank you notes are a great way to distinguish yourself as a lady or gentleman.  They demonstrate both good manners and proper etiquette.  Here are three tips for writing great thank you notes.   1) Write legibly.  2) Always identify the gift you received – be specific.  Your note will be more personal this way.  3) Always mention how you plan on using the gift.  You can create all sorts of positive personal impact with thank you notes. 

These days there are companies like Send Out Cards who produce and sell what I call “faux handwritten notes.”  They take a sample of your handwriting and then use it to create messages that they will send on your behalf.  In my opinion, these cards are better than an email, but they still don’t substitute for a handwritten note.  Two reasons: first, you still have to compose the message and e mail it to the vendor; and second, while these cards look pretty good, they still don’t have the intensely personal feel of a note written by hand.

As with most things, there is one rule of etiquette that I always follow.  I always do whatever I can to help the people around me feel comfortable.  I do this because I want to be – and be thought of – as a gentleman. 

For example, when you are dining with others, you may know that your water glass is on the right and that your bread and butter plate is on the left.  Other people may not know this.  So if someone uses your bread plate, don’t say “Hey, that’s mine – yours is over there.”  Just place your roll on your dinner plate.  Being right is no excuse for embarrassing someone else.

Remember, friends can help take you where you want to go.  Etiquette and manners will help you make those friends and create the life and career success you want and deserve.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Successful people are comfortable in all situations.  They follow the career advice in Success Tweet 80.  “Learn and use the basic rules of etiquette.  Social Faux pas might not ruin your career, but they certainly won’t help it.”  While being kind and valuing others is more important than knowing and applying the rules, knowing and using the rules will mark you as someone in the know – someone who is an up and comer.  Take the time to learn the rules.  In that way, you’ll be able to use them without thinking about them.  When this happens, you’ll be better able to focus on the conversation and the people around you.

That’s my take on the career advice in Tweet 80 in Success Tweets.  What’s yours?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less is my new career success coach book.  I’m proud to say that it has just gone into its second printing.  I also want to thank all of the kind folks who have posted a review of Success Tweets on Amazon.com.  You’re the best.  I really appreciate you. 

You can pick up a copy of Success Tweets at your local bookstore or on line at amazon.com.  Better yet, you can download the eBook version for free at www.SuccessTweets.com.

Today’s career advice comes from Success Tweet 78…

Say “thank you” often.  You’ll succeed, build a strong personal brand and build a legacy of being a nice person.

Zach Bussey is a Twitter friend of mine.  He lives in Toronto and I live in Denver.  Isn’t the internet a great thing?  Zach really understands social media.  You should check out his site.  The other day, Zach and I exchanged a few tweets on the importance of saying thank you.  Here’s one of the tweets Zach sent me…

“The word ‘thanks’ is used less and less.  It’s unfortunate, because it’s the kind of word that can change someone’s day.”

I agree with this career advice.  A sincere “thank you” always makes my day.  I really appreciate the people who take the time to thank me for these blog posts and my daily success quotes.  My day gets a little brighter every time someone thanks me for soemthing I’ve done, no matter how small.

That’s why I end every one of my blog posts with something like, “thanks for reading.”  I really appreciate the time you take to read my blog.  Thanking you is the least I can do to show this appreciation.  From time to time I offer things for free here to show my thanks.  Today, I’d like to thank you by sending two inspirational movies your way. 

Check out “Acres of Diamonds” at http://www.lifesecretsonline.com/movie/?t=TCSG&m=AcresofDiamonds.

And you might like Carrots, Eggs and Coffee.  http://www.lifesecretsonline.com/movie/?t=TCSG&m=CarrotsEggsCoffee.

A while back, I did a blog post where I featured Jeff Hajek’s book Whaddya Mean I Gotta Be Lean?  I like this book.  And, as I pointed out in the post, Jeff provides some great career advice in a book that at first glance doesn’t seem to have much to do with career success.

Jeff sent me an e mail the day after the post ran, thanking me for my favorable comments about his book.  I thought that was great – and for me it was enough thanks.  However, a couple of days later, I received a handwritten note in my snail mail from Jeff.  It read…

Bud,

I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to review Whaddya Mean on your blog.  I am cognizant of the fact that you have gone out of your way to help me, so if there is anything I can ever do to return the favor, please don’t hesitate to ask.

Best wishes,

Jeff

Handwritten thank you notes are not very common these days.  I was touched that Jeff took the time to write one and send it to me.  By sending it, he really strengthened his relationship with me.  The next time he asks for my help, I am very likely to give it to him.  Also, he offered his help to me.  I feel that I can go to him if I need assistance in his area of expertise.  Jeff used a simple technique – a handwritten note – to build his relationship with me.

My post helped Jeff – any exposure helps.  But I reviewed his book because I thought it would be useful to readers of this blog.  My intent was to provide readers of this blog with useful information and career advice.  So my review was a win/win/win.  Good for readers of this blog, good for Jeff, and good for me because I am meeting one of my goals – helping others create the life and career success that they want and deserve.  All of us benefited. 

Jeff purchased a thank you card for his note to me.  That was great, but I have an even better idea.  I have invested in a set of note cards with my name printed at the top and my return address on the back flap of the envelope.  I suggest that you do the same – you’ll find yourself writing more thank you notes when you have a card handy. 

One of the companies where I do a lot of consulting and coaching work has picked up on this idea.  They have placed blank thank you notes – with one of their core values on the front of the card – at convenient locations in their offices.  Their intent is to get employees to thank one another for good work.  And it has worked.  People are sending more of these handwritten notes to their colleagues, strengthening relationships within the company.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Successful people are interpersonally competent.  Interpersonally competent people are good at building relationships.  Thanking people when they help you is a great way to build relationships.  Follow the career advice in Tweet 78 in Success Tweets.  “Say “thank you” often.  You’ll succeed, build a strong personal brand and build a legacy of being a nice person.”  Besides thanking people in person, hand written notes are a great way of saying thank you.  Hand written thank you notes establish you as someone who cares about other people and is willing to go a little out of your way to build relationships — the hallmark of interpersonally competent and successful people.

That’s my take on the career advice in Tweet 78 in Success Tweets.  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts on this topic with us.  As always, you have my deepest gratitude for taking time out of your day to read what I’ve written.

Bud

Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less is my new career success coach book.  I’m proud to say that it has just gone into its second printing.  I also want to thank all of the kind folks who have posted a review of Success Tweets on Amazon.com.  You folks are the best.  I really appreciate you. 

You can pick up a copy of Success Tweets at your local bookstore or on line at amazon.com.  Better yet, you can download the eBook version for free at www.SuccessTweets.com.

Today’s career advice comes from Success Tweet 76…

Always act like a lady or gentleman.  It’s not old fashioned; it’s smart business and leads to a successful life and career.

Last year, I did a series of podcasts on life and career success. Lydia Ramsey was one of my guests.  Lydia is the author of a great book, Manners That Sell.  She is a leading authority on business etiquette and protocol.  She works with corporations, non-profit and educational institutions; helping people avoid the faux pas that can derail their career success.  She also writes a weekly business etiquette column in the Savannah Morning News.

Here is an excerpt of my interview with Lydia.

Bud:  One of the things I’d like to discuss is a word I use a lot.   And that word is “gentleman”.  I tell people that I try to conduct myself as a gentleman at all times.  When I say this, I sometimes get some pretty weird looks.  I’m wondering what your take is on this.  Is being a gentleman or being a lady a dated concept?

Lydia:  Well in some ways I think that it has become that way.  We’ve gotten so politically correct with the terms that we use that we’ve lost some important words in our language, like gentleman and lady.  We’re just overly cautious.  Many people in business don’t necessarily want to be referred as gentlemen and ladies.  They want to be men and ladies.  On the other hand, there are organizations like the Ritz Carlton who want everybody to be referred to, including their own employees, as ladies and gentlemen.  Their motto is “ladies and gentlemen serving ladies and gentlemen”.

Bud:  That’s really interesting.  I take it just from what you write and your whole focus on etiquette that being a gentleman or a lady can never be harmful to your career.

Lydia:  Right, you can never be too nice, I don’t believe.  And you can never be too courteous and respectful of other people.  That’s really what etiquette is about and what manners are about.

Bud:  I agree.  So why are manners and etiquette so important for success?

Lydia:  Well, I like to think about etiquette and manners as not necessarily about the rules, but about the relationships that we have with people and the way that we treat people.  And all of this, as you know, is really built on relationships…relationships with your clients, with your customers, with your coworkers.  Treating people well and with courtesy and respect is a way to build those relationships and to maintain them.

Bud:  That’s interesting.  Tell me a little bit more about this – not rules, but relationships.  I’m interested because I think a lot of people feel they need to pull out their Amy Vanderbilt or Emily Post book and make sure that they do things exactly correct.  What I’m hearing you say is that’s not as important as the way you treat other people.

Lydia:  That’s right.  If your mindset is really about being courteous to other people and just basically being nice to other people then you’re going to be exhibiting good manners.  That’s really what it’s about.  It’s not about a whole set of rules that somebody came up with that were designed to make us all a little crazy or paranoid or whatever.  But it’s really about knowing what to do in certain cases.  Obviously you want to do the right thing.  But you will be doing the right thing if you’re thinking about the other person’s comfort and the other person’s ease.

Bud:  So the real key thing is to think about the other person, put yourself in their place, try to make them feel comfortable and you’re likely to not go too far wrong from an etiquette or a manners point.

Lydia:  That’s right. 

I like Lydia Ramsey’s common sense approach to etiquette:

• Think about other people.
• Put yourself in their place.
• Try to make them feel comfortable.

If you do this, you won’t go wrong from an etiquette or a manners point of view.  What could be easier or more common sense?  In other words, most etiquette comes down to behaving like a lady or gentleman – the point I make in Success Tweet 76.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.   Etiquette is a matter of common sense.  Lydia Ramsey, a leading etiquette consultant says it’s as simple as one, two three.  1) Think about other people.  2) Put yourself in their place.  3) Do whatever you can to make them feel comfortable.  Follow the career advice in Tweet 76 in Success Tweets.  “Always act like a lady or gentleman.  It’s not old fashioned; it’s smart business and leads to a successful life and career.”  Ladies and gentlemen are gracious.  They don’t worry about the rules.  They worry about making other people feel comfortable and accepted.

That’s my take on the career advice in Tweet 76 in Success Tweets.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.  I value you and your feedback.

Bud