My new career success coach book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less is turning out to be quite a hit.  It is now in its third printing.  Over 2,000 people have downloaded the free eBook version.  I think it’s a great addition to my career advice writings.  Go to www.SuccessTweets.com to get a .pdf of Success Tweets for free. 

If you want to purchase a hard copy for yourself – or two or three to give to friends, associates, people you mentor, people you manage, your kids, your grandkids – go to Amazon.com or send me an email at Bud@BudBilanich.com.  I’ll send you quantity pricing information. 

Today’s career advice comes from Tweet 134…

Settle disputes and resolve differences quickly.  Don’t let them drag on.  Engage the other person in meaningful conversation.

An article that appeared in the Wednesday May 9 2007 Business Day section of The New York Times made a clear point about the importance of resolving conflicts quickly.

“On March 23, Andrew N. Liveris, the chief executive of Dow Chemical, wrote a scathing performance review about one of his top lieutenants.

“‘I expect to see that your negative body language when you disagree with a course of action is eliminated,’ he wrote to the executive, Romeo Kreinberg, who ran the $21 billion performance plastics and chemical business portfolio.  ‘Frankly, your recent behavior was the last straw and I will not allow such destructive behavior to be repeated.’

“Mr. Liveris gave Mr. Kreinberg three months to change his behavior.  Otherwise, he warned, ‘I will have no choice but to sever your links with Dow.’”

From the sounds of it, Mr. Kreinberg is a poster boy for a lack of interpersonal incompetence.  “Negative body language”…“destructive behavior.”  It would have been fun — or depending on your position, hell — to be a fly on the wall in the meetings that led up to Mr. Liveris’ review of Mr. Kreinberg’s performance. 

In my experience, people who are so blatantly unaware (or uncaring) of the impact of their behavior on others, very seldom end up running $21 billion businesses.  Most never make it past the level of individual contributor or first level manager.

There is some simple, but powerful common sense career advice here.  If you can’t build and maintain strong relationships with the people in your organization; and if you can’t learn to deal with conflict in a positive manner, you are unlikely to become a life and career success. 

If you want to create the career success you deserve, realize that yoy have to continue working with the people with whom you occassionally find yourself in conflict.  Accept decisions that go against you graciously.  Pitch in and help make decisions work; even if you argued strenuously against those decisions before they were made.  Avoid “negative body language” and “destructive behavior” – for the good of your company, and your own career success. 

By the way, Mr. Liveris fired Mr. Kreinberg three weeks later for a non related issue – being “involved in unauthorized discussion with third parties about the potential acquisition of the company.”

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Successful people follow the career advice in Tweet 134 in Success Tweets.  “Settle disputes and resolve differences quickly.  Don’t let them drag on.  Engage the other person in meaningful conversation.”  Don’t let your body language show how negative you feel about a decision or other person.  Don’t engage in destructive behaviors – actions that damage your reputation, your relationships and your company.  Instead address differences head on.  Resolve them quickly and move on.  Treat people with whom you disagree with dignity and respect.  This type of behavior will put you on the road to the life and career success you want and deserve.

That’s my take on the career advice in Success Tweet 134.  What’s yours?  Please take a minute to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

My new career success coach book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less is turning out to be quite a hit.  It is now in its third printing.  Over 2,000 people have downloaded the free eBook version.  I think it’s a great addition to my career advice writings.  Go to www.SuccessTweets.com to get a .pdf of Success Tweets for free. 

Today’s career advice comes from Tweet 132…

Trust is the glue that holds relationships together.  The more you demonstrate trust in others, the more they will trust you.

My best career advice regarding building relationships comes down to two words: trust and abundance.

When you trust others you are willing to put yourself out there – to give with no expectation of return, to act in a non quid pro quo manner.  Recently, I did a blog post in which I mentioned a chapter I wrote in 42 Rules for Creating WE called “There is no quid pro in WE”.  In that post, I pointed out that while there is nothing wrong with returning the favor when someone does you a good turn, waiting for others to help you in not a good idea when it comes to building relationships.  Successful people are willing to put themselves out there – to pay it forward.

Paying it forward takes trust, but it is great career advice.  Trust yourself to do for others with no guarantee of return.  Trust that others won’t take advantage of you.  Trust the universe in that the good you put out there will come back to you in unexpected ways. 

Trust is the glue that holds relationships together.  The more you demonstrate trust in others, the more they will trust you.

Abundance is also important in building relationships.  People who come from an abundance mentality see life as a non zero sum game; a perspective that holds that we can all be winners in the game of life and career success.  They realize that there is enough for all of us – enough money, recognition, career success, the things that people who come from a scarcity mentality see as in short supply.  People who come from a scarcity mentality see life as a zero sum game; if you win, I have to lose and vice versa.

I choose trust and abundance because I have seen them work in the real world – and I find that I am happier with myself when I am trusting and come from a place of abundance.  What do you choose – trust and abundance, or mistrust and scarcity?  The choice you make can have a huge impact on your ability to build relationships and create the life and career success you want and deserve.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Successful people are competent at building strong, mutually beneficial relationships with the important people in their lives.  They follow the career advice in Tweet 132 in Success Tweets.  “Trust is the glue that holds relationships together.  The more you demonstrate trust in others, the more they will trust you.”  A trusting attitude and abundance mentality are the best way to build relationships.  When you trust yourself, others and the universe, you will approach life from an abundance mentality.  You’ll be willing to give of yourself with no expectation of direct return.  This world view will make it easier for you to build and maintain the relationships that will help you create the life and career success you want and deserve.

That’s my take on the career advice in Success Tweet 132 and on the importance trust and abundance when it comes to building strong relationships.  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

My new career success coach book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less is turning out to be quite a hit.  Over 2,000 people have downloaded the free eBook version and several people have purchased multiple copies of the hard copy book.  I think it’s a great addition to my career advice writings.  Go to www.SuccessTweets.com to get a .pdf of Success Tweets for free. 

Today’s career advice comes from Tweet 131…

Be happy to see others succeed.  Use the success of others to motivate you to greater success.

A while back in a post I did on optimism and self confidence, I mentioned a quote in which a guy by the name of Ambrose Bierce bashed optimism – and I am an incurable optimist.  I advocate optimism as a way to create self confidence and career success.  

Anyway, Ambrose defined optimism as…

“The doctrine that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong… It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious.”

I come across quotes from Mr. Bierce frequently.  Check out this one, “Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.”  Both of these quotes are really cynical.  I wondered what kind of guy would produce them.

So I decided to learn something about Ambrose Bierce.  As it turns out, he was called “Bitter Bierce” by his contemporaries.  And I can see why.  First he bashes optimism, then he suggests that human beings see the good fortune of others as a personal calamity.

Ambrose Bierce was an interesting character.  He was born in 1842, and served in the Union Army during the Civil War.  No one knows for sure, but it is thought that he died in 1914.  In 1913, he traveled to Mexico to get involved with the revolution going on there.

He joined Pancho Villa’s army in Juarez.  On December 26 1913, he posted a letter to a friend from Chihuahua.  That was his last correspondence.  Wikipedia says, “Several writers have speculated that he headed north to the Grand Canyon, found a remote spot there and shot himself, though no evidence exists to support this view. All investigations into his fate have proved fruitless, and despite an abundance of theories his end remains shrouded in mystery. The date of his death is generally cited as ‘1914?’”.  His disappearance is one of the most famous in American literary history.

In 1906 Ambrose Bierce published “The Cynic’s Word Book.”  The title was changed “The Devil’s Dictionary”.   It is a book of satirical definitions of English words.  Ambrose was clever, I’ll give him that.  I often see quotes from this book online, including the one that inspired today’s post, “Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.”

But I digress.  I wish he were around today, because I would like to ask him where he got his bleak view of human nature.  He defines politeness as, “The most acceptable hypocrisy.”  In another quote, he defines perseverance as, “A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.”

Do you know any people like Ambrose Bierce?  If you do, hold them at arm’s length.  While you may find them to be witty and entertaining at first, they will drag you down in the long run.

People like Ambrose Bierce may be clever, but their views are incompatible with becoming self confident, creating positive personal impact, building strong relationships and becoming a life and career success. 

Successful people look for, and usually find, the best in others.  They are polite because it is the best way to build strong relationships.  They are willing to extend themselves to help others, even when they can see no immediate return to them for so doing.

If you read this blog regularly, you know I am a big fan of The Optimist Creed.  Point 6 says,

“Promise yourself to be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are of your own.”

This is 180 degrees from the Ambrose Bierce quote that I cited at the beginning of this post and from his life view in general.  Successful, self confident, optimistic people aren’t jealous or upset by the success of others.  They are genuinely pleased when they see others succeed.  They use others’ success as an inspiration that motivates them to achieve their own life and career success.

If you would like a copy of The Optimist Creed that you can frame and hang in your workspace, go to http://budbilanich.com/optimist.

The common sense career success coach point here is clear.  Successful people are self confident.  They create positive personal impact, are interpersonally competent and adept at building strong relationships with the people around them.  In part, they build these relationships by being genuinely pleased about the success of others.  They are not jealous, nor petty.  They are happy to see others succeed.  They follow the career advice in Tweet 131 in Success Tweets.  “Be happy to see others succeed.  Use the success of others to motivate you to greater success.”  Successful, self confident people use the success of others to motivate themselves to greater career success.  They aren’t jealous.  They are happy to see others succeed, if for no other reason, others’ career success can be a springboard for their own life and career success.

That’s my take on the career advice in success Tweet 131 and on Ambrose Bierce, self confidence and how one reacts to the career success of others.  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts on these ideas.  As always, thanks for reading – and writing.

Bud