I’m enjoying writing this series of posts on the career advice in my latest book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less.  I hope you are enjoying reading them.  You can purchase a copy of Success Tweets at Amazon.com or your local bookstore – or you can get a free copy of the eBook at www.SuccessTweets.com.

Today’s post is on Tweet 54…

Fake it till you make it.  Appear to be self confident and others will treat you as if you are.  In turn, this will boost your self confidence.

This post is a continuation of the advice in the post on Success Tweet 53.

The old saying “fake it till you make it” is great career advice.  If you are nervous about being accepted – in a new job or work group, by a new client, by a community that you want to join – act as if you are confident of being accepted.  Think, “Of course, I’ll be accepted.”  This will give you the seIf confidence to act in a manner that assume acceptance – even if you’re faking it at first – people will be likely to accept you. 

Here’s what one of my favorite philosophers and essayists, Ralph Waldo Emerson, has to say on this subject… 

“The virtue you would like to have, assume it is already yours, appropriate it, enter into the part and live the character just as the great actor is absorbed in the part he plays.”

He’s right.  If you play a part long enough, you become that part.

Dottie Walters who passed away on Valentine’s Day 2007 is a great example of this.  You probably don’t know who she was, but in certain circles – professional speakers – she was a legend.  Dottie Walters was one of the pioneers of the speaking business.  There is no aspect of it that she didn’t touch or influence. Her book, Speak and Grow Rich, is one of the all-time best sellers in our industry. She also produced several audio recordings, books, booklets, and a news magazine for speakers, Sharing Ideas. You could even hear her being interviewed at 30,000 feet, as she often was highlighted in the airlines audio programs.  Dottie Walters was a true icon on the speaking business.

However, I’m not writing about her here because she influenced the lives and careers of many professional speakers, mine included.  I’m writing about Dottie Walters here because she began by faking it till she made it.  And she was one of the most optimistic people I know.  She truly believed that she would be accepted in whatever she did. 

In 1948, she was a stay-at-home mother of two.  Her husband’s dry cleaning business was on the verge of collapse due to a recession, leaving them with little income and $5,000 in debt – a very sizeable sum in those days.  Dottie became a saleswoman for a newspaper; first ads, then circulation. 

Then she founded a business, Hospitality Hostess Service, kind of like Welcome Wagon.  She built it into a four-office, 285-employee business with 4,000 continuous contract advertising accounts.

She began reading everything she could about sales.  She found that all of the books she was reading were written for men.  She went to the library to find some books on sales that were written for women.  When she asked the librarian where the books for women in sales were, she was told, “There are no women in sales, so there are no books for them.”

That night, in her mind Dottie saw a copy of a book that had not yet been written on the library shelf.  The title was Never Underestimate the Selling Power of a Woman!  She decided to write that book.  It was the first book ever written for women in sales by a saleswoman.  Dottie Walters expected that her book and her ideas would be accepted – and they were.  She also had never written a book before, so she faked it until she made it.

Tupperware bought out the entire first printing of that book, and added a front section with a letter and picture of their President. They booked Dottie to speak at their big rallies around the country. Many other direct sales companies followed suit.

She went on from there to produce audio programs, and become one of the founding members of the National Speakers Association.  Dottie Walters became a legend because she believed in herself.  She acted as if she expected to be accepted – and she was.  As Emerson suggests, she “played the role” of a super saleswoman for so long that she eventually became a super saleswoman.  She assumed that her book on women in sales was necessary and would sell.  She was right.  Dottie Walters always looked at the bright side.  She assumed she would be accepted even when she was selling newspaper subscriptions while pushing two children in a stroller. 

In The Power of Positive Thinking, Norman Vincent Peale makes an interesting point about being accepted and liked…

“The fact is that popularity can be attained by a few simple, natural, normal and easily mastered techniques.  Practice them diligently and you will become a well liked person.  First, become a comfortable person, one with whom people can associate without a sense of strain.  A comfortable person is easy going and natural.  He has a pleasant, kindly, genial way about him.”

This is great career advice and where acting as if you expect to be accepted comes in.  When you expect to be accepted you don’t work too hard at getting people to like and accept you – you become a comfortable person; someone who is easy going and natural with a pleasant, kindly, genial way.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Successful people build relationships easily because they are self confident.  They follow the career advice in Tweet 54 in Success Tweets.  “Fake it till you make it.  Appear to be self confident and others will treat you as if you are.  In turn, this will boost your self confidence.”  Norman Vincent Peale suggests that the best way to act as if you expect to be accepted is to become a comfortable person – someone others want to be around.  He says that comfortable people are easy going and natural.  I agree with this career advice.  When you are easy going and natural people sense that you expect them to accept you.  While other people’s opinion shouldn’t be the entire basis of your self confidence, feeling accepted by others is always a confidence booster.

That’s my take on the career advice in Tweet 54 in Success Tweets.  What’s yours?  I’d appreciate it if you would leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

I’m still writing about the career success coach advice in my latest book: Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less.  You can get a free copy of the eBook version of Success Tweets at www.SuccessTweets.com.

Today’s career success coach post in on Tweet 48…

Procrastination is the physical manifestation of fear and is a confidence killer.  Act; especially when you’re afraid.

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts on Success Tweet 45, 46 and 47, fear is the enemy of self confidence and success.  Most people fear failure, criticism and rejection.  It’s only normal.  We all want to feel good about ourselves. 

Failure, criticism and rejection are not pleasant experiences.  They lower our self esteem and make us feel bad about ourselves, so we often avoid doing things that we think might lead to failure, criticism or rejection.  As a career success coach, I advise my clients that they must have the courage to do things that might result in failure, criticism or rejection.

Failure, criticism and rejection provide you with the opportunity to grow and develop – to become a life and career success.   You can’t take failure, criticism and rejection personally.  Failure, criticism and rejection are outcomes.  They are a result of things you have done.   They are not who you are.  Remember that.  We all make mistakes and fail on occasion.  We all do things that cause others to criticize or reject us.  This doesn’t mean that we are failures.  It means that we have made some poor choices and have done some dumb things.

Failure, criticism and rejection provide the opportunity to start over – hopefully a little smarter.  Buckminster Fuller once said, “Whatever humans have learned had to be learned as a consequence of trial and error experience.  Humans have learned only through mistakes.”  That’s great career advice.  I agree with it wholeheartedly.

Fear manifests itself as procrastination.  That’s why putting off things you want to do, and need to do can really hurt your self confidence and career success.  If your fear of failure and criticism, and rejection paralyzes you to the point where you aren’t willing to take calculated risks, you’ll never learn anything or accomplish any of your goals.

Don’t be afraid to fail, or too hard on yourself when you fail — or when others criticize or reject you.  Instead, put your energy into figuring out why you failed and then do something different.  Here are my four career success coach questions to ask yourself the next time you fail, or get criticized or rejected.

1. Why did I fail?  Why did I get criticized or rejected?  What did I do to cause the failure, criticism or rejection?

2. What could I have done to prevent the failure, criticism or rejection?

3. What have I learned from this situation? 

4. What will I do differently the next time?

If you do this, you’ll be better able to face your fears and act; and you’ll be using failure, criticism and rejection to your advantage.  In Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill says…

“Every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.” 

I know it’s hard to see the benefit or opportunity in failure, criticism and rejection.  But it’s there – you just have to look hard enough.  But it all begins by facing your fear and acting.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Successful people are self confident.  Self confident people face their fears and act.  They follow the career advice in Tweet 48 in Success Tweets.  “Procrastination is the physical manifestation of fear and is a confidence killer.  Act; especially when you’re afraid.”  Our most common fears are failure, criticism and rejection.  However, if you choose to find and use the learning opportunity in failure, criticism and rejection you will not only become more self confident, you will become more successful.   It’s sad but true – failure, criticism and rejection are the price you pay for becoming a personal and professional success.  Facing your fear of failure, criticism and rejection and acting will pay big dividends — and help you create the life and career success you want and deserve.  But you have to act first.  Don’t let fear paralyze you into inaction.  Remember this career advice – procrastination is the physical manifestation of fear.  so get off your butt and do something.

That’s my take on the career advice in Tweet 48 in Success Tweets and the importance of facing your fears and acting.  What’s yours?  What have you learned from facing your fears?  How has it helped you become more self confident?  Please leave a comment sharing your story with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

I am in the process of going through the book and writing a blog post about each tweet.  Today’s tweet is number 11…

Create a vivid mental image of yourself as a success.  This vivid image will keep you motivated and moving forward when things get tough.

Dr.  Martin Luther King is one of my personal heroes.  He helped lead our nation out of the dehumanizing segregation policies that flourished in the post civil war period.  I believe that he, more than any other single person, was responsible for the passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.  Today a black man is president of the United States.  This would have been unthinkable on August 28, 1963, the day Dr. King delivered his famous speech “I Have a Dream”.

I bring up Dr. King and the “I Have a Dream” speech because it is the embodiment of a vivid mental image of success.  Read the words below and see how they so clearly describe Dr. King’s vivid mental image of success, for himself and the nation.

“And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.’

“I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

“I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

“I have a dream today!

“I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of “interposition” and “nullification” — one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

“I have a dream today!

“I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together’.”

Those are powerful words and a powerful vivid mental image.  They kept Dr. King moving forward through the dark days in Selma all the way to the passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

I urge all of my career success coach clients to develop a vivid mental image of themselves as a career success.  What is your vivid mental image of your career success?  Can you articulate it clearly and vividly as Dr. King?

The common sense career success coach point in this discussion of Dr. Kings “I Have a Dream” speech is simple.  Successful people clarify their purpose and direction for their life and career.  Few people have demonstrated such a clear sense of purpose and direction for their lives as Dr. Martin Luther King.  His famous “I Have a Dream” speech is one of the best examples of a clear, vivid mental image of not only personal success, but success for us as a society.  “I have a dream… that little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.”  The dream is alive – although we still need to keep working on it.  You need to work on creating vivid mental image of yourself as a career success.  The more vivid the image the better.  As Tweet 11 in Success Tweets says, your vivid mental image of yourself as a success “will keep you motivated and moving forward when things get tough.”

That my take on Tweet 11 in Success Tweets.  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment sharing your personal vivid mental image of you as a career success.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud