business relationships
Success Tweet 140: Link In and Help Out
Oct 29th
My new career success coach book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less is turning out to be quite a hit. It is now in its third printing. Over 3,000 people have downloaded the free eBook version. I think it’s a great addition to my career advice writings. Go to www.SuccessTweets.com to get a .pdf of Success Tweets for free.
I’m almost at the end of this series of posts; it has taken me 28 weeks and one day to blog about each of the tweets in Success Tweets. I’m happy with the result. In a few weeks, I’ll consolidate these blog posts into a free eBook for you, so you’ll be able to download both Success Tweets and the Success Tweets Blog Book.
I’ve created what I consider to be the best source of free life and career success advice on the internet. All humility aside, I think that the Success Tweets book, coupled with these 141 blog posts, is as good or better than a lot of the career advice on the net for which you have to pay. Follow the career advice in Success Tweets and these 141 blog posts and you’ll be on your way to creating the life and career success you want and deserve.
Today’s career advice comes from Tweet 140…
Social networks allow you to help others. Give value, and you’ll be able to build some great online relationships.
In this post, I’d like to provide some career advice on building relationships on the internet. The internet gives you the opportunity to maintain relationships with people you know well, strengthen relationships with people you know only a little and build new relationships with people who can help you create the life and career success you want and deserve.
I believe that LinkedIn is the best social network for professionals. Facebook, Plaxo and Twitter are very good too. As you can tell, I like to tweet. Regardless of the social network you choose, there are some common sense points you should follow if you want to build solid relationships and your career success. While these points focus primarily on LinkedIn, there are similar functions on just about every social network.
Your profile is the place to begin. It can help you build your brand. A good profile will attract others, educate them about you and influence their feelings towards you – even if you’ve never met in person. Experts say that you have three seconds to communicate your brand on your LinkedIn profile. Make those seconds count.
My professional description on LinkedIn used to read “Bud Bilanich, The Common Sense Guy.” Now it reads, “Bud Bilanich: I can help you become a career success by helping using your common sense.” I don’t know about you, but I think that the second professional description is much stronger, communicates better and makes the most out of my three seconds.
You can leverage your social network profiles in several ways. Invite everyone you know to connect with you. Most social networking sites have a reconnect function. Use it. LinkedIn calls this the “colleagues and classmates reconnect function.” It can be a lot of fun to reconnect with people you used to know.
If you use Microsoft Outlook, download the Outlook toolbar. It will let you know the LinkedIn status of everyone from whom you receive an email. Ask your existing LinkedIn connections to introduce you to their connections. In this way, you can build a large network of people who will be exposed to your brand.
The LinkedIn “What you are working on now” function can help build your brand and your career success. Update it regularly. Post all of the interesting things you are doing – at work and in your life. This will help others get to know you better and it will showcase the depth and breadth of your experience.
Think of it as a long tweet. Twitter limits you to 140 characters per post. Here you can post three or four sentences and go into a little more detail. And, just like Twitter, people can respond to your LinkedIn “What you are working on now” posts. This creates the opportunity for you to engage in dialogue with the people you meet on LinkedIn, strengthening your relationships.
LinkedIn Groups are another powerful way to leverage the power of LinkedIn for your career sucess. You can find groups to join by seeing which groups people with interests similar to your own join. You can use the LinkedIn search tool for this.
Start slowly, join no more than three groups at first. Spend some time in these groups. See if they appeal to you. If they do, become active by participating in conversations; sharing your thoughts and ideas and links that you find helpful. If you don’t like a group, drop out and find another.
Participating in groups can be time consuming. Set your default to receive emails from groups once a week. Then set aside a specific period each week to read the recent post and reply to the relevant ones.
Remember, the career advice here is to build on line relationships the same way you build in person relationships. Give with no expectation of return. Establish yourself as a person of value first – someone who not only has something to give, but someone who is willing to help others. In this way, when the time comes, you’ll be in a great position to ask for the help you need in creating your life and career success.
The common sense career success coach point here is simple. Successful people follow the career advice in Tweet 140 in Success Tweets. “Social networks allow you to help others. Give value, and you’ll be able to build some great online relationships.” Build strong, lasting mutually beneficial relationships — in person and on line. While there is no substitute for face to face interaction when it comes to building relationships, the internet has opened up a lot of opportunities to reconnect with old friends and to make new ones. For my money, LinkedIn is the best social network for professionals. However, Facebook, Plaxo and Twitter are good too. Offering something of value is the best way to get people to befriend you on social networking sites. This can be as simple as retweeting a Twitter post you found interesting. Or, you can offer advice by answering questions people posts in forums. The career advice here is to offer value – not hype yourself. Keep the Zig Ziglar quote, “You will get what you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want.” Social networks allow you to help others get what they want. So give value – and you’ll find that you’ll be able to build some great on line relationships that will help you create the life and career success you want and deserve.
That’s my take on the career advice in Success Tweet 140 and on building on line relationships. What’s yours? Please take a few minutes to leave a copy sharing your thoughts with us. As always, thanks for reading.
Bud
Success Tweet 139: Do What You Say You’ll Do
Oct 28th
My new career success coach book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less is turning out to be quite a hit. It is now in its third printing. Over 2,500 people have downloaded the free eBook version. I think it’s a great addition to my career advice writings. Go to www.SuccessTweets.com to get a .pdf of Success Tweets for free.
I’m almost at the end of this series of posts; it has taken me 28 weeks and one day to blog about each of the tweets in Success Tweets. I’m happy with the result. In a few weeks, I’ll consolidate these blog posts into a free eBook for you, so you’ll be able to download the career advice in both Success Tweets and The Success Tweets Blog Book.
I’ve created what I consider to be the best source of free life and career success advice on the internet. All humility aside, I think that the Success Tweets book, coupled with these 141 blog posts, is as good or better than a lot of the career success information on the net for which you have to pay. Follow the career advice in Success Tweets and these 141 blog posts and you’ll be on your way to creating the life and career success you want and deserve.
Today’s career advice comes from Tweet 139…
Become widely trusted. Deliver on what you say you’ll do. If you can’t meet a commitment, let the other person know right away.
The career advice in this tweet is a no brainer. Yet I’m constantly surprised by how many people miss deadlines and don’t keep commitments – and never bother to mention it. Almost all of the work that you do has an impact on other people. Your output is often the input they need to get their work done.
You can build your career success simply by doing what you say you’ll do. I have found that this bit of career advice is overlooked way too often. Too many people feel comfortable missing deadlines. Worse yet, they don’t even mention that they’ll be late to people who are waiting for their work.
I’m a big believer in taking personal responsibility for your life and career success. I always tell my career success coach clients that saying “I’m late on my project because Joe – or Sue – didn’t get me the information I needed” doesn’t cut it. I tell them to seek out the information they need and get it so they can finish their project on time.
On the other hand, I tell them that they have a responsibility to Joe or Sue or anybody who is waiting for their work to get it to them on time. And if they are going to miss a deadline, let Joe or Sue know as soon as possible so they can adjust their work planning. This is not only common courtesy, it’s good business and career success advice.
When you meet your commitments consistently – or let others know when you are going to be unable to do so – you gain a reputation as someone who can be trusted. And as I’ve mentioned in a previous post, trust is the glue that binds relationships.
I have built my consulting and career success coach business by doing what I say I’ll do. I try to go beyond what I promise, to over deliver. In this way, I have built some client relationships that have exceeded 20 years. These people hire me again and again. And they refer me to their friends and colleagues – all because I do what I say I’ll do.
I once flew all night from Seattle to Detroit to do a workshop. I made a wrong notation in my calendar and ended up having to be in Seattle until 6:00 one day, and in Detroit to do a workshop at 10:00 the next day.
When I told one of my friends about the problem I had created for myself, he suggested I cancel one of the engagements. I couldn’t do that, both were part of larger programs that had been scheduled months in advance by my clients. I couldn’t let them down. A little lost sleep was a small price to pay for keeping my reputation as a guy who keeps his commitments intact.
This blog demonstrates my commitment to keeping my commitments. 27 weeks and four days ago I wrote the first post in this series. In that post, I said that I would write a series of posts that further explain the ideas in each tweet in Success Tweets. I committed to writing five posts a week. I’ve done that. Next Monday, I will post about Success Tweet 141. I’ve posted every day Monday through Friday for 28 weeks. I’ve posted when I’ve been working from my home office, when I’ve been traveling for business, and when I’ve been on vacation. I did this because I committed to doing it – to myself, and to readers of this blog. I take the career advice in Success Tweet 139 seriously. I suggest that you do too.
Finally, the subtitle of Success Tweets is 140 bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less. If you’ve downloaded the book, you’ve probably noticed that it has 141 tweets. I did this on purpose — to over deliver on the promise I make on the front cover. This is a small, silly even, example of how I go out of my way to make sure that people see me as someone who keeps his commitments. What are some of the small things you do to demonstrate that you are someone who keeps commitments and can be trusted?
The common sense career success coach point here is simple. If you want to become a life and career success you have to build a reputation as someone who can be trusted. Follow the career advice in Tweet 139 in Success Tweets. “Become widely trusted. Deliver on what you say you’ll do. If you can’t meet a commitment, let the other person know right away.” I’ve built a thriving business by following this career advice. And you can create the life and career success you want by following it. I think it goes without saying that while it is important to let other people know when you will be missing a deadline or can’t keep a commitment, it is more important to do whatever you must do to make deadlines and keep your commitments. This can inconvenience you at times, but it is great career advice that will pay off in the long run.
That’s my take on the career advice in Success Tweet 139. What’s yours? Please share stories about when you’ve gone above and beyond to keep a commitment in a comment. As always, thanks for reading.
Bud
Success Tweet 138: Admit Your Mistakes, Learn From Them, and Then Move On
Oct 27th
My new career success coach book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less is turning out to be quite a hit. It is now in its third printing. Over 2,5000 people have downloaded the free eBook version. I think it’s a great addition to my career advice writings. Go to www.SuccessTweets.com to get a .pdf of Success Tweets for free.
I’m almost at the end of this series of posts; it has taken me 28 weeks and one day to blog about each of the tweets in Success Tweets. I’m happy with the result. In a few weeks, I’ll consolidate these blog posts into a free eBook for you, so you’ll be able to download the career advice in both Success Tweets and the Success Tweets Blog.
I’ve created what I consider to be the best source of free life and career success advice on the internet. All humility aside, I think that the Success Tweets book, coupled with these 141 blog posts, is as good or better than a lot of the career advice on the internet for which you have to pay. Follow the career advice in Success Tweets and these 141 blog posts and you’ll be on your way to creating the life and career success you want and deserve.
Today’s career advice comes from Tweet 138…
We all make mistakes. Own up to yours. You’ll become known as a straight shooter, honest with yourself and others.
For this post, I’d like to return to one of my favorite documents: The Optimist Creed. If you would like a copy of The Optimist Creed suitable for framing, please go to http://budbilanich.com/optimist.
The Optimist Creed
Promise Yourself:
- To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
- To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.
- To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
- To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
- To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
- To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
- To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
- To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
- To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
- To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
In this post, I’d like to delve into the seventh point: “Promise yourself to forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.”
Let’s begin with a quote from Ann Landers:
“If I were asked to give what I consider to be the single-most useful bit of advice for all humanity, it would be this: expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and when it comes, hold your head high, look it squarely in the eye, and say ‘I will be bigger than you. You cannot defeat me’.”
I like what Ann Landers has to say here because it is great career advice and a reality check. She’s right, trouble – and setbacks and failure – are an inevitable part of life. Successful, self confident people look trouble squarely in the eye and move forward. They are not cowed by their failures, rather they embrace them and use them to move towards their life and career success goals. They also own up to their mistakes. In this way, they become widely trusted. And trust is the glue that holds together all relationships.
If you read this blog somewhat regularly, you probably know that I am a big tennis fan. A couple of years ago, I saw two great matches at The Australian Open the first major tennis tournament of the year.
James Blake, one of the two best American men tennis players at the time, won a great five set match on a Friday night. He lost the first two sets to Sebastien Grosjean. Then he won the next three to win the best of five set match. He was down four games to one in the fourth set, but won in a tie break. He was gritty.
To put it in terms of The Optimist Creed, James Blake was able to “forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.” In this case the past was the first two sets of the match. Also to win, James Blake had to honestly evaluate his play in those first two sets and make some changes.
Roger Federer was the best player in the world at that time. He still is very good. He had a terrible match against Janko Tipsarevic on Saturday afternoon of that Australian Open. He made 64 unforced errors and lost 16 of 21 break points. If you follow tennis, you know that this is a recipe for losing.
However, Mr. Federer won the match in five sets. Afterwards he said, “He (Mr. Tipsarevic) was just going for his shots and kept making them. In the end, I just tried to block out all the chances I missed.” The Optimist Creed shows up again. By blocking out “all the chances I missed”, Mr. Federer was able to win the match.
I believe that James Blake and Roger Federer won these matches because of their self confidence, their optimism, and as Ann Landers says, their ability to “look it (trouble) squarely in the eye, and say ‘I will be bigger than you. You cannot defeat me’.” They also owned up to their mistakes and made the changes in their games that they needed to do to win their mataches. By the way, Lleyton Hewitt did the same thing in his five set match against Marcos Baghdatis.
The common sense career success coach point here is simple. Follow the career advice in Tweet 138 in Success Tweets. “We all make mistakes. Own up to yours. You’ll become known as a straight shooter, honest with yourself and others.” Successful, self confident people realize that mistakes are part of life. Then learn from their mistakes and they build on this knowledge to create their career success. Owning up to your mistakes is great career advice. First you have to own up to your mistakes privately. This is the only way to get past them and move forward to career success. Second, you have to own up to your mistakes publicly. Admit them to your colleagues and coworkers. Take responsibility when you let down others. You’ll build strong relationships by being forthright. And as you know, strong realtionships are a key to career success.
That’s my take on the career advice in Success Tweet 138. What’s yours? Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment. As always, thanks for reading.
Bud
Success Tweet 137: Work and Play Well With Others
Oct 26th
My new career success coach book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less is turning out to be quite a hit. It is now in its third printing. Over 2,500 people have downloaded the free eBook version. I think it’s a great addition to my career advice writings. Go to www.SuccessTweets.com to get a .pdf of Success Tweets for free.
I’m almost at the end of this series of posts; it has taken me 28 weeks and one day to blog about each of the tweets in Success Tweets. I’m happy with the result. In a few weeks, I’ll consolidate these blog posts into a free eBook for you, so you’ll be able to download both Success Tweets and The Success Tweets Blog.
I’ve created what I consider to be the best source of free life and career success advice on the internet. All humility aside, I think that the Success Tweets book, coupled with these 141 blog posts, is as good or better than a lot of the career advice on the internet for which you have to pay. Follow the career advice in Success Tweets and these 141 blog posts and you’ll be on your way to creating the life and career success you want and deserve.
Today’s career advice comes from Tweet 137…
Do your job; give credit to others for doing theirs. Everyone likes to work with people who share the credit for a job well done.
As I was searching the net for some inspiration on what to write about for this tweet, I came across a piece by Susan Heathfield on About.com called “Play Well With Others at Work.” Successful, interpersonally competent people are able to build strong relationships with the people with whom they work – this involves both working and playing well with others at work. Here is an edited version of what Ms. Heathfield has to say about playing well with others at work.
These are the top seven ways you can play well with others at work. They form the basis for effective work relationships. These are the actions you want to take to create a positive, empowering, motivational work environment for people.
• Suggest solutions to the problems you identify and raise. Identifying problems is easy. People who provide thoughtful solutions the problems and challenges they raise earn the respect and admiration of their coworkers and bosses.
• Don’t ever play the blame game. You alienate everyone around you. Yes, you may need to identify who was involved in a problem. You may even ask the Deming question: what about the work system caused this failure? But, not taking responsibility for problems you create and publicly identifying and blaming others for failures creates enemies. These enemies will, in turn, help you to fail. Interpersonally competent people realize that they need allies at work.
• What you say and what you do matters. When you talk down to someone, use sarcasm, or sound nasty, other people are likely to hear you. We are all radar machines that constantly scope out our environment. In one organization a high level manager said to me, “I know you don’t think I should scream at my employees. But, sometimes, they make me so mad. When is it appropriate for me to scream at the employees?” Answer? Never. This goes for people who aren’t in leadership positions too. It’s never appropriate to raise your voice to a colleague or coworker.
• Never blind side people. Interpersonally competent people keep their colleagues in the loop. They discuss problems with the people directly involved before discussing them with others. Interpersonally competent people do not ambush others. They know that if they do, they will never build effective work alliances. And without alliances, you never accomplish the most important goals.
• Keep your commitments. When you fail to meet deadlines and commitments, you affect the work of other people. Always keep commitments, and if you can’t, make sure the affected people know what happened. Provide a new due date and honor the new deadline.
• Share credit for accomplishments, ideas, and contributions. It’s very rare to accomplish a goal or complete a project with no help from others. Take the time, and expend the energy, to thank, reward, recognize and specify contributions of the people who help you succeed. This is a no-fail approach to building effective work relationships.
• Help other people find their greatness. Every person has talents, skills, and experience. If you help people harness their best abilities, you benefit them and your organization immeasurably. Personal growth and development benefits everybody. Compliment, recognize, praise, and notice contributions. You don’t have to be a manager to help create a positive, motivating environment.
If you use the career advice in seven actions regularly – especially number 6, “Share credit for accomplishment, ideas and contributions,” you will become known as someone who plays well with others. And, you’ll develop effective work relationships. You’ll become interpersonally competent. Colleagues will value you. Bosses will believe you are a team player. You’ll accomplish your work goals, and you may even experience fun, recognition, and personal motivation. Work can’t get any better than that.
The common sense career success coach advice here is simple. Successful people follow the career advice in Tweet 137 in Success Tweets. “Do your job; give credit to others for doing theirs. Everyone likes to work with people who share the credit for a job well done.” Pay attention of Susan Heathfield’s advice when she says, “Share credit for accomplishments, ideas, and contributions. It’s very rare to accomplish a goal or complete a project with no help from others. Take the time, and expend the energy, to thank, reward, recognize and specify contributions of the people who help you succeed. This is a no-fail approach to building effective work relationships.” If you follow this career advice, you’ll be on your way to not only building strong work relationships, but to the life and career success you deserve.
That’s my take on the career advice in Success Tweet 137, sharing the credit. What’s yours? Please take a few minutes to share your thoughts with us in a comment. As always, thanks for reading.
Bud
Success Tweet 136: No One Can “Make You Angry”
Oct 25th
My new career success coach book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less is turning out to be quite a hit. It is now in its third printing. Over 2,500 people have downloaded the free eBook version. I think it’s a great addition to my career advice writings. Go to www.SuccessTweets.com to get a .pdf of Success Tweets for free.
I’m almost at the end of this series of posts; it will have taken me 28 weeks and one day to blog about each of the tweets in Success Tweets. I’m happy with the result. In a few weeks, I’ll consolidate these blog posts into a free eBook for you, so you’ll be able to download not only the Success Tweets book, but have the career advice in the Success Tweets Blog all in one place.
I’ve created what I consider to be the best source of free life and career success advice on the internet. All humility aside, I think that the Success Tweets book, coupled with these 141 blog posts, is as good or better than a lot of the career advice on the internet for which you have to pay. Follow the career advice in Success Tweets and these 141 blog posts and you’ll be on your way to creating the life and career success you want and deserve.
Today’s career advice comes from Tweet 136…
Be responsible for yourself. No one can “make you angry.” Choose to act in a civil, constructive manner in tense situations.
The career advice in this tweet relates to your personal values. Your values are your personal guide for day to day living. They are the best way to take responsibility for yourself. They help you make decisions in your everyday life. Values ground you – providing direction for decision making in ambiguous situations.
Because I’m in business for myself, I have two sets of values – one set guides my personal life; the other, my professional life. They are complimentary, but have slightly different foci.
My personal values are…
- Always do my best.
- Treat all people with the respect and dignity they deserve as fellow human beings.
- Help others wherever and whenever I can – with no strings attached.
- Use my common sense.
- Be a supportive and loving husband.
My business values are…
- I believe we too often make things more complex than they really are. I help my clients simplify the complex, and develop and implement common sense solutions to their problems and issues.
- I believe in human potential. I assist my client organizations and the individuals in them to use applied common sense to achieve their full potential.
- My clients pay a premium for my services. Therefore, I provide them with extraordinary value-added services in order to justify their faith in me.
- My clients trust me. They openly discuss their aspirations, hopes, fears, problems and opportunities with me. This trust is sacred. I will not violate it.
- All of my customers are unique. I honor this uniqueness. I don’t sell one-size-fits-all consulting, career success coach or speaking services. I am diligent about gaining a complete understanding of each client’s unique needs before I suggest a course of action.
I use these values as a guide for my day to day living. I do my best to conduct myself in a manner that is consistent with them. Several months ago, I did a blog post in which I mentioned an argument I had with my dad. I let myself get angry over a trivial matter. After I calmed down, I called my dad to apologize. I did this because one of my personal values is, “Treat all people with the respect and dignity they deserve as fellow human beings.”
By raising my voice and arguing, I was not conducting myself in accordance with one of my personal values – so I had to do something (apologize) to rectify the situation. This value of treating people with respect and dignity is so ingrained in me that I had a feeling of unease for the two days it took me to apologize for losing my temper.
That’s the way values work. They become so much a part of you that when you act in a manner inconsistent with them, you feel a little off and uncomfortable. This discomfort led me to do what I needed to do to fix the problem I had created.
Just last week I had an experience that gets at what I’m talking about here. I sent an email to a group of people with whom I have an affinity asking if they would like to join me as a joint venture partner. Several said “yes.” I received a response from one person that was an email with a subject line that said REMOVE. There was no body in the text.
I sent this person a very nice email in which I apologized for bothering her, assured her that I would not contact her again and attached one of my eBooks as a sign of good will. I received a rather condescending response to the second email – offering me coaching on email etiquette. We traded two more emails discussing this issue.
I finally figured out that this person had a strong need to have the last word in this correspondence. I chose to let her have the last word. By letting her have the last word, I was following the career advice in Tweet 136. “Choose to act in a civil, constructive manner in tense situations.”
I still think that I was the aggrieved party in this situation, but in the long run it doesn’t matter. I took responsibility for not extending a conflict situation – that was of little or no importance – by letting the other person have the last word – something that seemed important to her.
The common sense career success coach point here is simple. Successful people are clear about what they want out of their lives and careers. They define what career success means to them, personally. They create a vivid mental image of their career success. And they develop a set of personal values that guide their day to day life. They follow the career advice in Tweet 136 in Success Tweets. “Be responsible for yourself. No one can ‘make you angry.’ Choose to act in a civil, constructive manner in tense situations.” In other words, pick your battles. If you find yourself in conflict over something that is a rather trivial matter, let it go. If you do and say things for which you are sorry, apologize. But above all, remember to take personal responsibility for your own behavior.
That’s my take on the career advice in Success Tweet 136 and on personal values and success. What’s yours? Please take a few minutes to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us. As always thanks for reading.
Bud
Success Tweet 135: Be a Consensus Builder
Oct 22nd
My new career success coach book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less is turning out to be quite a hit. It is now in its third printing. Over 2,000 people have downloaded the free eBook version. I think it’s a great addition to my career advice writings. Go to www.SuccessTweets.com to get a .pdf of Success Tweets for free.
If you want to purchase a hard copy for yourself – or two or three to give to friends, associates, people you mentor, people you manage, your kids, your grandkids – go to Amazon.com or send me an email at Bud@BudBilanich.com. I’ll send you quantity pricing information.
Today’s career advice comes from Tweet 135…
Be a consensus builder. Focus on where you agree with others. It will be easier to resolve differences and create agreement.
The July 2009 issue of SUCCESS Magazine had an interesting interview with Patrick Lencioni, author of The Five Dysfunctions of a Team. I’m an admirer of Patrick’s writing. I particularly like what he has to say about teams and teamwork. Fear of conflict is one of the team dysfunctions he discusses in the book and interview in SUCCESS.
And, if you read this blog with any regularity, you know that I am a big fan of SUCCESS Magazine. I read it cover to cover every month and usually blog about one or two of the articles in each issue. If you’re not a subscriber, I suggest you go to www.success.com and do so now.
Here’s what Patrick Lencioni has to say about conflict and disagreement…
“The fact is that great teams argue. Not in a mean spirited or personal way. But they disagree, and passionately, when important decisions are made. They argue about concepts and ideas and avoid personality focused, mean spirited attacks. So many of us have been raised to avoid conflict and disagreement that we try to compromise and reach artificial consensus, and that only leads to mediocrity.”
Successful, interpersonally competent people are not mean spirited. They don’t attack others. They do, however, voice their disagreement with another’s ideas in a positive manner. They use conflict to find better, more creative solutions to their differences with others.
I always encourage my career success coach clients who find themselves in conflict to do something that is counter intuitive – focus on where you agree, not where you disagree. When you are in conflict with another person, it is natural to focus on your differences. However, this approach tends to lead to digging in your heels and looking for support for your position. The more you do this, the less you open you are to hearing what the other person has to say. Conflict resolution becomes a zero sum, win/lose game.
On the other hand, if you actively look for and find places where you agree, you can jointly create a solution that satisfies both of your needs. Here is an example.
When we bought our house, we had a conflict with the seller over the closing date. This was happening at the end of the year. The seller, who was also the builder, wanted to close by December 31. We were not planning on moving until February 1. Due to some ambiguous language in the contract, the situation was becoming quite contentious.
Finally, I said to the builder, “John, you want to sell this house. We want to buy it. I’m sure we can work out a closing date that suits us both.” At that point, the tone of our discussions changed. We were working together to solve a problem – not arguing over December 31 and February 1 dates. Even though we both ended up giving a little, neither of us felt that we had given up on our position. We were able to resolve our conflict positively.
The common sense career success coach point here is simple. Successful people are interpersonally competent. Interpersonally competent people resolve conflict positively, with little damage to their relationships. They follow the career advice in Tweet 135 in Success Tweets. “Be a consensus builder. Focus on where you agree with others. It will be easier to resolve differences and create agreement.” Conflict can be destructive to relationships and it can kill your career success. But when you work to resolve conflict positively, you strengthen your relationships. Strong relationships make it easier for you to resolve future conflicts and build your career success. Focusing on points of agreement, however small, is the best way to resolve conflict positively. Focusing on where you agree puts you in a position to jointly create a mutually satisfying solution to a conflict, as opposed to win/lose negotiation in which one person wins and the other loses.
That’s my take on the career advice in Tweet 135 in Success Tweets and on how to resolve conflict positively. What’s yours? Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us. Share your stories of successful and amicable conflict resolution. As always, thanks for reading.
Bud
Success Tweet 134: Resolve Differences Quickly
Oct 21st
My new career success coach book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less is turning out to be quite a hit. It is now in its third printing. Over 2,000 people have downloaded the free eBook version. I think it’s a great addition to my career advice writings. Go to www.SuccessTweets.com to get a .pdf of Success Tweets for free.
If you want to purchase a hard copy for yourself – or two or three to give to friends, associates, people you mentor, people you manage, your kids, your grandkids – go to Amazon.com or send me an email at Bud@BudBilanich.com. I’ll send you quantity pricing information.
Today’s career advice comes from Tweet 134…
Settle disputes and resolve differences quickly. Don’t let them drag on. Engage the other person in meaningful conversation.
An article that appeared in the Wednesday May 9 2007 Business Day section of The New York Times made a clear point about the importance of resolving conflicts quickly.
“On March 23, Andrew N. Liveris, the chief executive of Dow Chemical, wrote a scathing performance review about one of his top lieutenants.
“‘I expect to see that your negative body language when you disagree with a course of action is eliminated,’ he wrote to the executive, Romeo Kreinberg, who ran the $21 billion performance plastics and chemical business portfolio. ‘Frankly, your recent behavior was the last straw and I will not allow such destructive behavior to be repeated.’
“Mr. Liveris gave Mr. Kreinberg three months to change his behavior. Otherwise, he warned, ‘I will have no choice but to sever your links with Dow.’”
From the sounds of it, Mr. Kreinberg is a poster boy for a lack of interpersonal incompetence. “Negative body language”…“destructive behavior.” It would have been fun — or depending on your position, hell — to be a fly on the wall in the meetings that led up to Mr. Liveris’ review of Mr. Kreinberg’s performance.
In my experience, people who are so blatantly unaware (or uncaring) of the impact of their behavior on others, very seldom end up running $21 billion businesses. Most never make it past the level of individual contributor or first level manager.
There is some simple, but powerful common sense career advice here. If you can’t build and maintain strong relationships with the people in your organization; and if you can’t learn to deal with conflict in a positive manner, you are unlikely to become a life and career success.
If you want to create the career success you deserve, realize that yoy have to continue working with the people with whom you occassionally find yourself in conflict. Accept decisions that go against you graciously. Pitch in and help make decisions work; even if you argued strenuously against those decisions before they were made. Avoid “negative body language” and “destructive behavior” – for the good of your company, and your own career success.
By the way, Mr. Liveris fired Mr. Kreinberg three weeks later for a non related issue – being “involved in unauthorized discussion with third parties about the potential acquisition of the company.”
The common sense career success coach point here is simple. Successful people follow the career advice in Tweet 134 in Success Tweets. “Settle disputes and resolve differences quickly. Don’t let them drag on. Engage the other person in meaningful conversation.” Don’t let your body language show how negative you feel about a decision or other person. Don’t engage in destructive behaviors – actions that damage your reputation, your relationships and your company. Instead address differences head on. Resolve them quickly and move on. Treat people with whom you disagree with dignity and respect. This type of behavior will put you on the road to the life and career success you want and deserve.
That’s my take on the career advice in Success Tweet 134. What’s yours? Please take a minute to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us. As always, thanks for reading.
Bud
Success Tweet 132: Two Keys to Building Strong Relationships — Trust and Abundance
Oct 19th
My new career success coach book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less is turning out to be quite a hit. It is now in its third printing. Over 2,000 people have downloaded the free eBook version. I think it’s a great addition to my career advice writings. Go to www.SuccessTweets.com to get a .pdf of Success Tweets for free.
Today’s career advice comes from Tweet 132…
Trust is the glue that holds relationships together. The more you demonstrate trust in others, the more they will trust you.
My best career advice regarding building relationships comes down to two words: trust and abundance.
When you trust others you are willing to put yourself out there – to give with no expectation of return, to act in a non quid pro quo manner. Recently, I did a blog post in which I mentioned a chapter I wrote in 42 Rules for Creating WE called “There is no quid pro in WE”. In that post, I pointed out that while there is nothing wrong with returning the favor when someone does you a good turn, waiting for others to help you in not a good idea when it comes to building relationships. Successful people are willing to put themselves out there – to pay it forward.
Paying it forward takes trust, but it is great career advice. Trust yourself to do for others with no guarantee of return. Trust that others won’t take advantage of you. Trust the universe in that the good you put out there will come back to you in unexpected ways.
Trust is the glue that holds relationships together. The more you demonstrate trust in others, the more they will trust you.
Abundance is also important in building relationships. People who come from an abundance mentality see life as a non zero sum game; a perspective that holds that we can all be winners in the game of life and career success. They realize that there is enough for all of us – enough money, recognition, career success, the things that people who come from a scarcity mentality see as in short supply. People who come from a scarcity mentality see life as a zero sum game; if you win, I have to lose and vice versa.
I choose trust and abundance because I have seen them work in the real world – and I find that I am happier with myself when I am trusting and come from a place of abundance. What do you choose – trust and abundance, or mistrust and scarcity? The choice you make can have a huge impact on your ability to build relationships and create the life and career success you want and deserve.
The common sense career success coach point here is simple. Successful people are competent at building strong, mutually beneficial relationships with the important people in their lives. They follow the career advice in Tweet 132 in Success Tweets. “Trust is the glue that holds relationships together. The more you demonstrate trust in others, the more they will trust you.” A trusting attitude and abundance mentality are the best way to build relationships. When you trust yourself, others and the universe, you will approach life from an abundance mentality. You’ll be willing to give of yourself with no expectation of direct return. This world view will make it easier for you to build and maintain the relationships that will help you create the life and career success you want and deserve.
That’s my take on the career advice in Success Tweet 132 and on the importance trust and abundance when it comes to building strong relationships. What’s yours? Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us. As always, thanks for reading.
Bud
Success Tweet 131: Be Happy for Others’ Career Success
Oct 18th
My new career success coach book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less is turning out to be quite a hit. Over 2,000 people have downloaded the free eBook version and several people have purchased multiple copies of the hard copy book. I think it’s a great addition to my career advice writings. Go to www.SuccessTweets.com to get a .pdf of Success Tweets for free.
Today’s career advice comes from Tweet 131…
Be happy to see others succeed. Use the success of others to motivate you to greater success.
A while back in a post I did on optimism and self confidence, I mentioned a quote in which a guy by the name of Ambrose Bierce bashed optimism – and I am an incurable optimist. I advocate optimism as a way to create self confidence and career success.
Anyway, Ambrose defined optimism as…
“The doctrine that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong… It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious.”
I come across quotes from Mr. Bierce frequently. Check out this one, “Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.” Both of these quotes are really cynical. I wondered what kind of guy would produce them.
So I decided to learn something about Ambrose Bierce. As it turns out, he was called “Bitter Bierce” by his contemporaries. And I can see why. First he bashes optimism, then he suggests that human beings see the good fortune of others as a personal calamity.
Ambrose Bierce was an interesting character. He was born in 1842, and served in the Union Army during the Civil War. No one knows for sure, but it is thought that he died in 1914. In 1913, he traveled to Mexico to get involved with the revolution going on there.
He joined Pancho Villa’s army in Juarez. On December 26 1913, he posted a letter to a friend from Chihuahua. That was his last correspondence. Wikipedia says, “Several writers have speculated that he headed north to the Grand Canyon, found a remote spot there and shot himself, though no evidence exists to support this view. All investigations into his fate have proved fruitless, and despite an abundance of theories his end remains shrouded in mystery. The date of his death is generally cited as ‘1914?’”. His disappearance is one of the most famous in American literary history.
In 1906 Ambrose Bierce published “The Cynic’s Word Book.” The title was changed “The Devil’s Dictionary”. It is a book of satirical definitions of English words. Ambrose was clever, I’ll give him that. I often see quotes from this book online, including the one that inspired today’s post, “Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.”
But I digress. I wish he were around today, because I would like to ask him where he got his bleak view of human nature. He defines politeness as, “The most acceptable hypocrisy.” In another quote, he defines perseverance as, “A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.”
Do you know any people like Ambrose Bierce? If you do, hold them at arm’s length. While you may find them to be witty and entertaining at first, they will drag you down in the long run.
People like Ambrose Bierce may be clever, but their views are incompatible with becoming self confident, creating positive personal impact, building strong relationships and becoming a life and career success.
Successful people look for, and usually find, the best in others. They are polite because it is the best way to build strong relationships. They are willing to extend themselves to help others, even when they can see no immediate return to them for so doing.
If you read this blog regularly, you know I am a big fan of The Optimist Creed. Point 6 says,
“Promise yourself to be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are of your own.”
This is 180 degrees from the Ambrose Bierce quote that I cited at the beginning of this post and from his life view in general. Successful, self confident, optimistic people aren’t jealous or upset by the success of others. They are genuinely pleased when they see others succeed. They use others’ success as an inspiration that motivates them to achieve their own life and career success.
If you would like a copy of The Optimist Creed that you can frame and hang in your workspace, go to http://budbilanich.com/optimist.
The common sense career success coach point here is clear. Successful people are self confident. They create positive personal impact, are interpersonally competent and adept at building strong relationships with the people around them. In part, they build these relationships by being genuinely pleased about the success of others. They are not jealous, nor petty. They are happy to see others succeed. They follow the career advice in Tweet 131 in Success Tweets. “Be happy to see others succeed. Use the success of others to motivate you to greater success.” Successful, self confident people use the success of others to motivate themselves to greater career success. They aren’t jealous. They are happy to see others succeed, if for no other reason, others’ career success can be a springboard for their own life and career success.
That’s my take on the career advice in success Tweet 131 and on Ambrose Bierce, self confidence and how one reacts to the career success of others. What’s yours? Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts on these ideas. As always, thanks for reading – and writing.
Bud
Success Tweet 130: Be Generous
Oct 15th
My new career success coach book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less is turning out to be quite a hit. Over 2,000 people have downloaded the free eBook version and several people have purchased multiple copies of the hard copy book. I think it’s a great addition to my career advice writings. Go to www.SuccessTweets.com to get a .pdf of Success Tweets for free.
If you want to purchase a hard copy for yourself – or two or three to give to friends, associates, people you mentor, people you manage, your kids, your grandkids – go to Amazon.com or send me an email at Bud@BudBilanich.com. I’ll send you quantity pricing information.
Today’s career advice comes from Tweet 130…
Be generous. By giving with no expectation of return, you’ll be surprised by how much comes back to you in the long run.
When my book Straight Talk for Success was first published I did a big launch campaign that resulted in it becoming an Amazon.com bestseller. A few months before the launch, I settled on April 22 as my launch date; mostly because the timing was right. When I looked closer at my calendar, I saw that April 22 happens to be Earth Day. I can remember participating in teach ins at Penn State on the very first Earth Day in 1970.
I decided that there was some karma involved here. Since I had chosen April 22 without knowing it was Earth Day, I thought it would be nice for me to donate 10% of my net proceeds from book sales that day to an organization who supports the environment. I knew the perfect one.
I am a member of Volunteers for Outdoor Colorado, an apolitical environmental organization. Their mission is to “motivate and enable Colorado citizens to be active stewards of Colorado’s public lands, thereby creating enthusiastic and beneficial stewardship of Colorado’s natural and cultural resources.” They are my favorite environment related non profit. They do great work. I was happy to help them out by donating a part of the money I made on books sales that Earth Day.
I called Ann Baker Easley, VOC Executive Director, and told her what I had in mind. I was expecting a “thank you.” I got that, and much more. Ann put me in touch with Piep van Heuven, VOC Deputy Director of Development and Communication. Piep included a message about my book launch in the VOC newsletter, and sent an e mail to their membership on the day of the book launch asking them to purchase a copy of Straight Talk.
What started off as a philanthropic endeavor on my part, turned into a partnership. And, it proved my point about giving with no expectation of return. I approached VOC thinking that I could help them by making a small contribution. They embraced my idea, and took it one step further. So now, we are partners. I think this is great.
This doesn’t always work. Prior to my book launch, I participated in a book launch campaign for another author. When I asked her to return the favor, I got an e mail saying “I am not participating in any book launch promotions just now. I am laser focused on building my business using Facebook.”
In other words, “kiss off, Bud.” But that’s OK. I helped her with her successful launch, and many other people — some very unexpected — helped me with mine. In my experience, for every experience where my help is not reciprocated, there are two or three more like my experience with Volunteer for Outdoor Colorado.
Recently, I have partnered with a new non profit: the Go For It! Institute. Go For It! teaches kids seven keys to life success…
- KEY 1: I Have a Positive Attitude! Learn what attitude is; what aspects of your life are controlled or directed by your attitude; how to determine your attitude at any given moment; specific strategies to make a positive attitude a permanent habit in your life.
- KEY 2: I Believe in Myself! Understand the nature of human potential through a simple process of identifying your personal talents and abilities; developing academic strengths and personal interests to create personal fulfillment and economic opportunities for your future.
- KEY 3: I Build Positive Habits! Understand the process of how habits are created; learn to identify and remove self-defeating habits; create habits that will make all aspects of your life easier and more successful.
- KEY 4: I Make Wise Choices! Learn the dramatic relationship between any current circumstances in your life and the choices that created these; develop a personal proactive plan for desired outcomes through conscious, wise choices.
- KEY 5: I Set and Achieve Goals! Recognize the difference between a wish and a goal; make a commitment, plan and take action; recognize completion.
- KEY 6: I Use My Creative Imagination! Learn to adapt a technique professional athletes use to extend their physical ability, to accelerate problem solving and goal achievement in all areas of your life.
- KEY 7: I Am Persistent! Track progress; develop the focus and determination required to succeed; create an attitude of gratitude as the access to fulfilling your dreams, link the Seven Keys to Success together in everyday life.
I like these seven keys. They are great career success advice. And I like the people at Go For It! who are spreading the word to young people, parents and teachers all across the USA. These are smart people who give generously of themselves to help kids – our future. I am proud to be one of their partners. Check them out by logging on to http://www.goforitinstitute.org.
I am in the process of launching a new website on which I will sell career advice books and other life and career success materials I have developed. I will donate a percentage of my profits to the Go For It Institute. In this way, when you purchase my products you’ll be able to help them by helping yourself.
The common sense career success coach point here is clear. Successful people build and nurture strong relationships with the people in their lives. One way they do this is by giving with no expectation of return. Follow the career advice in Tweet 130 in Success Tweets. “Be generous. By giving with no expectation of return, you’ll be surprised by how much comes back to you in the long run.” When you give with no expectation of return, you’ll be surprised by what comes back to you. But that’s not the important career advice here. Give with no expectation of return to help others and to build strong, mutually beneficial relationships with the important people in your life.
That’s my take on the career advice in Success Tweet 130. What’s yours? Do you give with no expectation of return? Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts and experiences with us. As always, thanks for reading.
Bud
